Final Four

Warning: this is not a basketball post - so if you were looking for one try espn.com.

These are my final thoughts on Ellie at four. It was the night before Ellie's 5th birthday party - I had heard several parents say the famous “I can't believe my kid is this or that old" and it had gone in and out without really resonating in me. I lay in bed as it not only resonated in me, but hit me like a ton of bricks that my only sweet baby was turning five. I cried. Five is the year for kindergarten and school friends (that eventually become the people that help to shape who you are and influence the decisions you make.) Five is the year you grow out of ’T’ clothing and shop in the girl section. Five is the year that you notice a difference between boys and girls. Five is no longer infant, baby or toddler. Five is big. Ellie is five.

Ellie did so many things at four. She went a lot of places and had a lot of fun. She learned so many things. She was the top reader in her preschool class. She could count and write and do simple math. Ellie became a “do-it-myself” at four. She liked to be independent. On independence, she made simple choices at four that were different from mine or different from what she was taught. She felt bad when she disobeyed. She learned that there are consequences to each action. A few nights before she turned five she started sleeping in her own bed. She preferred the bath to the shower. She was care-free. She sang all through four. Everything was a song to Ellie as she went through the day making up songs out of playing or reading or talking. She loved to play, both alone and with friends. She liked to pretend and make believe. She loves everyone equally. She enjoys family. She seemed so big most of the time until I stepped back and realized she is still so little. Just so big from where she started. She is growing up.

She is so beautiful. Her laugh is intoxicating. I can sit and stare at her from any angle and I am mesmerized by every beautiful line in her face. On her birthday she woke up and asked if she was five now. I told her she would be five as soon as I woke up. But then I smiled and told her that she was five, but I wanted her to be three and go backwards. She said there is no way to do that. I guess there is no way to go backwards, but I wish she could.